Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
