billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
