i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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