there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
