Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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