It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
