He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you had me at cake vodka
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize