i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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