it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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