Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
