Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
