my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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