I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
