At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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