so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
