New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
