Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
