If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize