How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
