I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
