If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
