had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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