Midget sex pt 2 tonight
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
