dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
