ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i out mim tonsoeep
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
