No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
