He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
