I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
