I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
be right there i have to get my cape
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
