If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
