you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
