I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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