Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
