We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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