Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Randomize
