I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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