just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
