is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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