Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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