My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
