do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
