Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
