turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize