How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
