I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need a burrito and a hug.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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