I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
