He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
