He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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