idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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