i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
