I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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