sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
