there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
