marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
