We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
