He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
