OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
