i'm signing you up for texting rehab
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
