The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
